so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
