on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
