Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
