So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
