Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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