i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
