i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
