i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
