He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
