i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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