they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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