dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
