Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
