actually, I'm a sock model
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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