So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
