Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
