Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
