Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
