it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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