why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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