bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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