i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
