they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
