You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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