Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
