Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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