she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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