He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
