well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
