Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
