Non-Jews are for practice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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