Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
