My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
