Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
