i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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