take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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