the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
