therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
