Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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