just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
