More tranny stories later!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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