We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
