im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
