I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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