Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My legs feel like baby dolphins
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
