It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
