Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You may now shotgun with the bride
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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