I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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