It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
