ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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