that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's shark week go big or go home
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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